Lost Passion – In Search of a Meaningful Life

I have lost my passion towards the small little joys of life amid sound and smokes of fast paced city life. Spiritualism and philosophy sounds mundane in this materialistic world still I crave for these things every night long. Passion is there but the too much of stress made me forget the connection between me and the excitingly beautiful world that I am not seeing nowadays. Everything became like a duty, there’s no room for finding myself. If I want to stay aloof to discover my inner self, the outer world pesters me to come alive again.

A lost guy like me is seen as insane piece of junk who is habitual of losing every battle. A loser has no room in this thoroughly competitive world. I want to shed all my inhibitions and let go all preconceived notions of being a regular guy and want to explore my lost passion for finding my true self. Who am I? The question always tortures me. Sometimes I feel too good about myself and sometimes I feel the opposite. There’s no consistency in my self believe. I have lost my passion towards everything like travelling, writing about people, weaving stories and making the universe look magical.

Waiting for a miracle was something I always believed to happen to my life. My life was full of illusions that the outer world rightfully discarded. Everyone around me wanted me to be responsible but I failed to be one. I wanted to escape from every situation but slowly I am coming back to life. I am trying to mix what is right and what is wrong. Still confused about my life and as I am always asking myself whether I am following the right path or I am diverted in my way to find the perfect concoction for a meaningful life.

Things looked utterly obvious to me and my passion and my dreams look unattainable.  The reality in my life overpowered my imagination. It became so big that I lost control over my dreams. Now I want to relive my imagination and want those lilies in my balcony. I want to explore newer boundaries to satisfy my cravings. I want to throw all the crowded materialism and want to embrace life with open arms.  

My thoughts here look little blurred, the clot of haze will soon disappear and I will find my broken wings. There will be light again in my kingdom and I won’t mind flying my chariot of dreams again with the people who understands me. I am lost now but this is not forever.